PMS!!

What PMS Means -
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make Me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff
12. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
13. Potential Murder Suspect
14. Prehistoric Monster Syndrome


You know a woman has PMS when.....
* She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.
* She considers chocolate a major FDA food group.
* She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.
* She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.
* She retains more water than Lake Superior.
* She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one."
* She buys you a new T-shirt -with a bulls-eye on the front.
* You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says,"All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"
* She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.
* She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets,and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.
*Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
*You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
*The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
*Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.
*You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, "How's my driving--call 1-800-***-****."
*Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
*You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
*You're counting down the days until menopause.
*You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
*The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
*-Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.


HEHE :) Can you think of any more??